Life Isn't Always Fair. Get Over it.

By Dave Balch, author "Cancer for Two" and founder CopingUniversity.

 

I love trains, always have. I guess it's a guy thing.
 

Imagine my delight, then, when I discovered a fascinating and unusual hotel in Southern California about 75 miles from my home.
The hotel consists of a traditional building plus, believe it or not, an old lima bean silo that has been converted into four floors of hotel rooms. The silo sits next to railroad tracks to facilitate transportation of the lima beans. And by "next to the tracks" I mean "REALLY next to the tracks," as in "about 20 feet from the tracks." Now that the silo is no longer used for lima beans, the tracks are now used for commuter and freight trains.
 

Yes, you read that right; a hotel sits within 20 feet of commuter and freight trains that go zooming by at all hours of the day and night. I might add that there are no stations nearby so the trains are at full speed as they pass. And, to add to the fun, the tracks cross a major boulevard very near the hotel, which means that when a train is approaching the bells ring as the arms come down to block the street, and the trains are required by law to blow their air horns.
 

Fun, eh?
 

It wasn't as noisy as you might think in the rooms that face away from the trains because the silo has 12-inch thick concrete walls. It WAS as noisy as you might think, however, for the rooms that do face the tracks. That's where I liked to stay.
 

No matter what the weather or time of day, I would leave the window open. When I heard a train coming I ran to put my face against the screen to be as close as possible. The blast of air and noise, combined with the rattling of the windows and the massiveness of the trains was quite a rush. If the train was coming from the south, the highway crossing was ahead of the train and the air-horn sounded right as it passed me. If the train was coming from the north I could hear the horn blow as it approached the intersection from the other side, which gave me a little more time to run to the window.

I loved it. Even at 3:00am I loved it.
 

As it turns out, a lot of people love it and the hotel is very popular with train enthusiasts.
 

My motorcycle club used to start rides nearby so I had an excuse to stay there on nights before an outing. Life happens, though, and I haven't had an "excuse" to stay there for about 14 years. An opportunity recently presented itself, though, and I made my reservation, specifying a room "in the silo on the train side" just as I always did.
 

With great anticipation and excitement I checked-in, got to my room and it was just as I remembered. The first order of business was to open the window. It was closed, of course (for those "weenies" that can't take it) so went over to open. It wouldn't open; it was stuck. I tried and tried and was just about to call the front desk when I noticed that it was sealed shut. SEALED SHUT?? 

 

What the... ??
 

I called the front desk to whine and they told me that they had sealed the windows for security reasons. A few years ago there was "an incident" where some kids were throwing things at the passing trains through an open window in the silo.
 

I said, "So in other words, because of the actions of a few idiots (ok, I didn't really say 'idiots') we all have to do without?"
 

She said, "I'm afraid so."
 

I found the situation to be terribly unfair and I was very disappointed to say the least. Oh, sure, the trains still went by and the window still rattled and the horn blew and all, but it just wasn't the same. The sound was muffled through the double-pane glass. The intimacy with the moving metal beast was missing.
 

I had a pity party for a few minutes, lamenting to myself how the many have to pay for the transgressions of a few. The more I thought about it, though, the more I came to realize that this has become the way of the world. As a society we all have to put up with a lot of things because of relatively few bad people; airport security is a good example.
 

Here's the lesson: life isn't always fair. Get over it.
 

And I did. I gave myself a few minutes to feel angry and disappointed and frustrated, and then I decided to make the best of it and enjoyed the trains in the new paradigm.
 

Try to remember this little story the next time life throws you a curve, even if it's relatively unimportant. Granted, my "loss" wasn't earth-shattering or life-altering, but it was a big disappointment for me. Some things will be a big disappointment for you, too, and you may be frustrated or angry because yours may also be caused by the thoughtless or careless acts of others.
 

Feel bad about it, but only for a little while. Then get on with your life.