One Crisis at a Time
By Dave Balch, author “Cancer for Two” and founder
The Patient/Partner Project
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When you are dealing with a difficult situation like a 
serious illness, at any given moment you will probably have 
at least a dozen problems that need to be solved.  It’s 
tempting to try to solve them all before you get any new 
problems so you can coast for a while, problem-free.

I hate to be the one to tell you this, but there is ALWAYS 
going be some sort of problem to solve.  Problems are just a 
part of life, like eating, breathing, and sleeping, so if 
you’re living for the day that you will be 100% problem free 
I’m afraid you’re going to be sorely disappointed.

One of the realities of life is that solutions to problems 
usually give birth to new problems.  It’s just the way 
things are.

For example, my wife loves her horse (Keno) and wanted him 
to live on our property instead of boarding him.  So, we 
built a little ranch where Keno would have the space he 
needs, but that presented a new problem: horses are herd 
animals and they need other horses around.  Keno would be 
alone on our property… so we had to buy another horse.

That problem is solved, but now we have two horses and have 
to buy twice as much feed.  When the feed was delivered it 
attracted mice and gophers, so that was a new problem to 
deal with.  The horses produce about 50 pounds of manure a 
day EACH… what am I going to do with 100 pounds of “used 
hay” every day?  We decided to have it hauled away so they 
put a small dumpster at the end of our dead-end street, but 
now we have a new problem because the trash truck comes 
roaring up at 6:00 in the morning, disturbing everyone.

Another new problem is getting the manure INTO the dumpster. 
I don’t want to do it and  Chris can’t do it, so we hired a 
young man to come over a couple of days after school and he 
does it, but now we have a new problem.  He doesn’t always 
have a ride home… so we have to take him.

You see how this works?  We solved the problem of boarding 
Keno, but that gave rise to a new problem which, in turn 
created new problems and so on.

If you or your patient has a lot of pain, you can give 
him/her medication.  The medication may solve the pain 
problem, but cause a new problem such as nausea or 
sleepiness.

The point is that you will never be 100% problem-free: you 
have to learn to manage the problems that you have.  Just 
concentrate on one at a time, and don’t expect to solve them 
all without having new problems in their place.  Lowering 
your expectation will relieve a lot of stress.

© 2009, Dave Balch  ALL RIGHTS RESERVED

Dave Balch gives greater understanding and relieves stress 
and restores hope for those dealing with a serious or 
chronic illness or condition.  He was caregiver for his wife 
during four bouts of breast cancer and has now dedicated his 
life and career to helping others by founding The 
Patient/Partner Project. Resources include a book “Cancer 
for Two,” speaking programs, a DVD about coping strategies, 
and free web services.  Subscribe to his no-cost monthly 
newsletter, “Caring and Coping” at www.CaringAndCoping.com