Keep Your Eye on the Ball
By Dave Balch, author “Cancer for Two”
and founder The Patient/Partner Project
    
      When I was about 11 I joined little league and played 
baseball. Well that’s not exactly true… I TRIED to play 
baseball.  I was a good runner, but my batting and catching 
wasn’t so hot, and when you’re talking baseball that pretty 
much kills the deal.  But I digress…
      During batting practice one day I kept swinging the 
bat but missing the ball. This kept happening over and over 
until the coach came over to me and said, “You’re not 
watching the ball as it’s coming toward you. You can’t hit 
it if you don’t look at it.  Keep you’re eye on the ball.”
I realized that I wasn’t looking at the ball because I was 
distracted by the fear that it might hit me.  To put it 
another way, hitting the ball was the goal and if I didn’t 
keep focused on the ball I couldn’t hit it.
      The very next pitch I did what he said, though, and 
hit the ball solidly over the pitcher’s head.  Even today I
can still feel that satisfying thump and hear the loud crack 
of the bat when I hit it. It felt good.  I was proud. (The 
fact that I can still remember that one moment tells you 
something about how many times I was successful at bat!)
      What does this have to do with stress? Everything, 
because as you are living your stressful life and trying to
cope, sometimes the stressful things we are dealing with get 
the better of us and we get caught up in them. We get so 
upset about one particular situation or incident that we get 
distracted from the ultimate goal, which is to deal 
effectively with our life.
      As I write this, the entire country is in a uproar 
about the bonuses given to executives of a company that I 
will not name (AIG) after that company received BILLIONS of
taxpayer dollars so it wouldn’t go out of business. Believe 
me when I say that I think that the outrage is justified, 
and if anything illegal was done the guilty parties should
be punished, but all of the talk and tension and media
coverage and finger-pointing caused by this situation is 
distracting us from our goal, which is to fix the economy.
In the grand scheme of things, taking the entire situation
into consideration, these immoral and greedy people are 
simply a blip on the radar.
      I, too, am trying to control my own stress, which is 
caused by my wife’s illness and welfare as well as too much 
month left over after the money. I try to practice what I 
preach and most of the time I’m doing ok, but last night I 
was packing for a speaking engagement and I couldn’t find my 
toothpaste. I lost it. I was frustrated because I had left 
my shaving kit in a hotel room during a trip last week and I 
just couldn’t believe that I had left my toothpaste as well.  
I suddenly became a sailor with bad words coming out of my 
mouth (hard to believe, isn’t it??).  I was slamming doors 
and throwing my clothes around… I had taken my eye off the 
ball. 
      After about five minutes of this nonsense my wife came 
in and said, “You’re going to give yourself a stroke!”  
      She was right. It was stupid and I knew it. And it was 
over.  
      I remembered to watch the ball, and the rest of my 
packing went smoothly.  SIDE NOTE: the toothpaste was right 
where it was supposed to be; with all of my other liquids
and pastes in the little clear plastic bag required by 
airport security.  DOH!
      It’s very easy to get distracted and let little things 
get to you. Coping with stress is a tricky business, so keep 
at it and remember to watch the ball!

© 2009, Dave Balch  ALL RIGHTS RESERVED

Dave Balch gives greater understanding and relieves stress 
and restores hope for cancer patients and their families.  
He was caregiver for his wife during four bouts of breast 
cancer and has now dedicated his life and career to helping 
others by founding The Patient/Partner Project. Resources 
include a book “Cancer for Two,” speaking programs, a DVD 
about coping strategies, and free web services.  Subscribe 
to his no-cost monthly newsletter, “Caring and Coping” at 
www.CaringAndCoping.com