Change Doesn’t Change
By Dave Balch, author “Cancer for Two” and founder 
The Patient/Partner Project

Part of the stress of cancer, at least for us, is going to 
unfamiliar places and finding our way around, learning where 
to park, how long it will take to get there, places to eat, 
etc. Sometimes merely finding a doctor’s office is a 
challenge in itself; down the hall, turn left, then right, 
then left again to a bank of elevators, go to the 3rd floor, 
turn right, then left, and it’s the 5th door on the left.  
Been there?

At first we had to find a doctor’s office behind a market, 
then go to the hospital for blood tests which was down a 
very busy street and through a busier intersection.  Left 
turn into the parking lot (note to self: that left turn took 
forever, so next time we have to go a different way so it’s 
a right turn instead).  To park we had to go past the kiosk, 
get our ticket, be careful not to park in the doctor’s lot, 
and so forth.  Next: find the lab in a large metropolitan 
hospital. What? There are four labs?  Which one are we 
supposed to use?  Oh, no; I forgot to bring the parking 
ticket to be validated… I didn’t know!

Then it was off to the pharmacy down the block, the parking 
lot was being repaved, when we tried to turn around we were 
on a one-way street going the wrong way, which lead us to 
another one-way street going the wrong way and so on.

When we went for the second opinion there was a whole new 
set of new places to find, construction, traffic jams; it 
goes on and on.

I’m not a wuss; I can handle finding my way around new 
places! But when you consider the added stress of Chris (my 
wife) having cancer and all of the new responsibilities on 
my head, it was a new stress that I didn’t need.

It occurred to me one day while finding a parking place at 
the umpteenth facility in our cancer journey that no matter 
how convoluted and complex the surroundings, you soon get 
comfortable in each new place.  You discover where the 
vending machines are, where the bathrooms are, the traffic 
patterns, etc., and you even get to know some of the people. 
All of a sudden that “new” place seems normal.

We became comfortable with our first doctor and hospital.  
We went for our second opinion to a large university medical 
center and learned our way around there.  Then we moved 
there permanently for treatment and things soon became 
normal again.  The surgery was in the medical center, so 
there was a new regimen to learn, but that, too, became 
normal.

Chemo was about 3 miles away, so there was another change of 
scene.  Parking was $9 so we learned the side streets and 
where we could and couldn’t park. It wasn’t long until we 
were comfortable there too.  Then, because of geography and 
the distances involved, we had to start all over again for 
radiation treatments.  And then THAT became normal and 
comfortable.

Here’s the point.  No matter what facility you’re in, the 
“newness” goes away and you get comfortable in your new 
surroundings.  Always.  

The next time you have to “learn” a new facility and you 
feel even the slightest anxiety about it, try to remember 
that.  

© 2008, Dave Balch  ALL RIGHTS RESERVED

Dave Balch gives greater understanding and relieves stress 
and restores hope for cancer patients and their families.  
He was caregiver for his wife during four bouts of breast 
cancer and has now dedicated his life and career to helping 
others by founding The Patient/Partner Project. Resources 
include a book “Cancer for Two,” speaking programs, and free 
web services.  Subscribe to his no-cost monthly newsletter, 
“Caring and Coping” at www.CaringAndCoping.com