You WILL Forget
By Dave Balch, author “Cancer for Two”
and founder The Patient/Partner Project

When Chris was in the middle of her chemo treatments a woman 
came to our table in a restaurant and said that she, too, 
had gone through chemo and wanted to know how Chris was 
doing.  Chris had been approached before, but there was 
something different about this woman's demeanor.  It soon 
became apparent what it was that was different.

"Look at my hair," she said with enthusiasm, pointing to her 
long, thick, black locks.  "It came back with a vengeance!  
It's curly now and I just love it!"

Then came the pearl.  "My treatments and chemo were hard, 
but now it's over and I barely remember it.  It's amazing 
how quickly you forget the bad stuff."

At the time, this was very comforting to hear because when 
you're in the middle of it it seems like it will never end.  
Here was reassurance from someone who had been there; she 
did not minimize the difficulty but rather acknowledged it, 
and then assured us that when it was over she would forget a 
lot of it.

She was right.

On this sixth anniversary of Chris's diagnosis we certainly 
remember that she went through chemotherapy (twice, now, as 
it turned out) but the memories of the unpleasant part of it 
have indeed faded.  We can recall the treatments, the 
nurses, what was said, what we did, the driving to and from 
treatments, etc., but the side effects and discomfort are 
both a distant memory.

Here's the best part - we didn't have to do any work or 
anything special for this to happen!  I guess it's just 
human nature, sort of like the pain of childbirth.  I don't 
have any personal experience with this because neither Chris 
nor I have ever actually given birth, but we have it on good 
authority that it is a pain that is quickly forgotten. 

Although the reasons for this are different than the reasons 
we forget about the unpleasantness of treatment, I'm going 
to stick with the analogy.  With childbirth it is the joy of 
the result that causes you to forget the pain.  With 
treatments it is the joy and sense of accomplishment when it 
is over.

What I'm saying here is to take heart that, although it is 
discouraging and difficult to go through your treatments, 
you WILL come out the other side and forget the bad stuff.

Our restaurant friend did. Chris did.  You will too.

© 2008, Dave Balch  ALL RIGHTS RESERVED

Dave Balch gives greater understanding and relieves stress 
and restores hope for cancer patients and their families.  
He was caregiver for his wife through four bouts of breast 
cancer and has now dedicated his life and career to helping 
others by founding The Patient/Partner Project. Resources 
include a book “Cancer for Two,” speaking programs, and free 
web services.  Subscribe to his no-cost monthly newsletter, 
“Caring and Coping” at www.CaringAndCoping.com