 In
this issue |
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New
Articles on Empowher.com |
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Humor
from the Trenches |
My wife
chose to have a mastectomy with a TRAM flap
reconstruction. It was a very involved surgery and she
was going to be on the table for six hours! Needless
to say, we were both nervous. This is what happened
when we arrived for the surgery.
(From Cancer for Two)
We actually arrived at the hospital on time, parked
in the underground lot and made the long walk to the
lobby.
About halfway there, Chris
stopped suddenly and said, "Oh, no!"
I was startled. "What??"
"I forgot to bring my boob!"
I laughed out loud. How could
she be in such a good mood? I was apparently more
nervous than she was!
I said, "What do you mean?
I'm right here!"
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Our mission is to reduce stress and restore hope for
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including patients, caregivers, family, friends, medical
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caregivers
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3. Oh... and by laughing,
too!
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Back to
top
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Feature
article:
Stop Judging to Stop Worrying
Maybe it's just me. I was watching the Oscars a
couple of weeks ago and it seems to me that
there was an extraordinary emphasis on fashion.
Everyone, and I do mean EVERYONE, had something
to say about what everyone else was wearing as
well as their hair and makeup.
The next day, the chatter was the same. I'm
not talking about the so-called experts, but
rather every day people who were judging the
stars.
It reminded me of something that, for some
strange reason, I have to learn over and over
again: people who judge others tend to worry
more about themselves being judged.
When you worry about what other people will
think, you find yourself under a lot of
unnecessary, self-induced stress. You will
find it hard to make decisions, both big
("Where should I live") and small ("What
should I wear?").
I think that this fear of judgment is rampant
in our society. People get into all sorts of
trouble because of it: they don't speak up to
right a wrong because they think they'll look
foolish or say the wrong thing. They do
things for other people that they don't really
want to do because they are afraid of what
someone will think of them if they say "no."
They bend to peer-pressure to try drugs,
alcohol, etc. because they are afraid they
will look like a coward if they don't.
If you are dealing with cancer in general and
chemotherapy in particular, hair loss is a
major concern for most of us. The resulting
self-consciousness can be crippling, for
example, causing you to stay home when you
have places you want to go and have to go.
Think of all of the living you're missing!
I have some good news: some of this fear can
be easily stopped merely by changing your own
tendency to judge others in ways that you are
afraid of being judged yourself.
I'm not saying that this is a magic bullet to
cure all such fear, and I know there are many
other issues at play such as low self-esteem.
But if you can be more aware of how much you
judge others, you can make a difference in
your own stress levels, and that's what I
encourage you to do.
So if you find yourself judging others, STOP
IT!
©
2010, Dave Balch ALL RIGHTS RESERVED
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