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You are getting this
because you asked for it!!
If you're not sure why,
click
here
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Announcements:
2) Dave has a story published in
"Chicken Soup for the Soul: The Cancer Book" - available in book
stores now!
3) The Journal of Nursing Jocularity is
back!
If
you like to laugh and you are a nurse, you will love the reappearance of
this online magazine. Karyn Buxman, RN, MSN / Publisher says, "The
nurse who laughs, lasts." Believe us when we tell you that she is one
funny lady! Take a look
here and check the subscription page for a introductory special!
4)
Dave is now a regular contributor to EmpowHer.com
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Dave will be writing one or two short
articles every week about coping skills - the articles are short and
very quick reads.
Sign-up now and we'll let you know when new articles are posted! |
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5) DVD: "You Can Handle
More Than You Think You Can:
Your Amazing Ability to be Brave and Strong"
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When Dave's wife was first diagnosed with breast cancer
he thought, "How are we going to get through this... this is impossible"
but he is still here (and so is his wife)!
How did they get from "I can't do this" to "I
did this?"
Recorded live in front of 1,000 oncology professionals,
you will be moved, inspired, and empowered by this presentation in
which Dave explains the '11 L's of Caring and Coping' with stories
from their journey, plenty of humor, and two moving videos that
brought his audience to cheers and tears! To see clips from the
program and for more information:
www.HandleMore.com
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6) Complimentary coping
guides for your patients
We now have coping guides for your patients that
contain "The 11 L's of Caring and Coping." They can be ordered in
packs of 50; they are complimentary... shipping too! To see one and
place your order, go to
www.ThePPP.org/freestuff
Note:
available only if shipped directly to a clinic or support group. If
you are an individual patient or caregiver, or cannot order for a
clinic or support group, ask someone who can to order the guides for
you as well as all of their patients.
In this issue:
Article:
"The Dirty Little
Secret of 'How are you?'"
We Were Featured in The Wall Street Journal!
Humor from the trenches
Audiences and readers share their stories
This and that
Observations, musings, audio clips, stories
from the road, etc.
Meanwhile, back at
the ranch...
A usually-humorous glimpse into the personal life of
this cancer caregiver
Past Issues
About the Caring and Coping Newsletter
Links
Our Mission
Subscribe/unsubscribe
Please forward us
to everyone you know who is a patient, caregiver, survivor, or medical
professional. (Be sure they know it's from you, though; I don't want
them to think I spammed 'em!)
Patients/caregivers:
please tell your doctors, nurses, family, and
friends about us!
Medical professionals:
please tell your patients and colleagues about us! |
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Article: "The Dirty Little Secret of 'How are you?'"
Whether you are the patient, the
caregiver, or simply a relative of the patient or caregiver, you will be
asked this single question over and over again: “How are you?” or “How
is ____________?” (Fill in the blank with the patient’s name.)
It comes from family. It comes from friends. It comes from
acquaintances, people you work with, people at your gym, etc. Sometimes
it even comes from friends of friends.
Here’s the dirty little secret: most of the time they are just being
polite and don’t really want to know, at least not enough to hear the
ENTIRE story.
Don’t feel bad, it’s not that they don’t care, it’s just that they have
their own lives to worry about and don’t really want a long diatribe
about what is happening. They want to know, but they don’t necessarily
want to know all of the details.
“Okay,” you might ask, “why are you telling me this?”
Here’s why: so you can start giving them the “Reader’s Digest Version.”
Save yourself a lot of energy by avoiding a long, unnecessary
explanation of the situation and save them from hearing a lot more than
they really want to know. Just tell them the basics and be done with it.
If they want to know more they will ask for details.
Have you ever asked someone how they are AND THEY TELL YOU?? You have to
hear about their bunions and the new pain they are feeling in their
knee, a virus that they think they have and how difficult it has been to
get rid of it, their stomach cramps and difficulty sleeping and…. YIKES!
It can make you sorry that you asked. Do you want people who care about
you to be sorry that they asked?
My wife is on an oral chemotherapy which sometimes causes a lot of
fatigue, resulting in 10-12 hours of sleep every night as well as a nap
in the afternoon some days. She feels badly that she can’t do as much as
she used to and sometimes she has an energy drink during the day to keep
her going. That’s not to say that she is sad and depressed all the time
and walks around with her eyes half-open; she is really doing well and
is productive, but not for as long each day as she would like. I help
with her chores as much as I can, but I have a lot on my plate as well
so it’s hard on both of us.
When someone asks me, “How’s Chris doing?” I could go into all of that
(and more) but a) it takes a lot of energy on my part and b), I don’t
want to be a bore. So I say something like, “She’s taking a drug that
makes her quite fatigued, but other than that she’s doing well. Thanks
for asking!” and leave it at that. If they want to know more they will
ask but if they don’t, everyone is satisfied with my answer.
And they won’t be afraid to ask again the next time I see them.
© 2009, Dave Balch ALL RIGHTS RESERVED
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Humor from
the trenches
...from audiences, readers, and me!
(From Cancer for Two) When my wife was
first diagnosed, one of the first calls she made was to her brother,
John. They talked about it and, naturally, he was shocked and saddened
by the news but tried to keep the mood upbeat.
In a mock fit of guilt, he told Chris how sorry he was that he broke
her finger on the wagon, referring to a childhood incident where he
dragged her around in his red wagon.
“That’s when the
cancer started!” Chris told him, jokingly implying
that the cancer was caused by that incident and was therefore, in
fact, his fault!
Send me your own
humorous anecdotes!
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This
and that
After a recent presentation, a man told me that his wife was upset with
him because he didn't recognize the anniversary of her diagnosis.
He was always good about remembering important dates (their anniversary,
her birthday, the date they met, etc.), and he wanted to know if it was,
indeed, important enough to recognize.
I told him that a
serious diagnosis is a life-changing moment and, yes, it WAS indeed
important enough to recognize.
Besides... the fact
that SHE thinks it's important makes it important. This is not a gender
issue; if one partner (male or female) thinks that something is
important enough to be recognized, then it is. Period. |
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Meanwhile, back at the ranch...
A glimpse into the life of this caregiver
Click
here to see the "cast of characters"
While I was away at a speaking engagement, one of our horses fell in the
snow and couldn't get up. Chris called the neighbors and then
called 911. The operator said she would call animal control and
Chris told her, "Those are the LAST people to call! I need some big
strong guys from the firestation down the street!"
This story has a happy ending... so far, anyway. I wonder if we're
going to get a bill from the fire department.
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Links
Information about Dave's speaking programs, including
demo videos
Dave's speaking schedule
Sign-up to be notified when Dave will be speaking in
your area
No-cost services of The Patient/Partner Project
Use our articles in your printed or electronic
publications
Book:
Cancer for Two: An Inspiring True Story
for Cancer Patients and Their Partners
DVD:
You Can Handle More Than You Think
You Can: Your Amazing Ability to be Brave and Strong
Let us notify you when new coping articles are posted
on EmpowHer.com
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Our Mission:
Our mission is to reduce stress and
restore hope for those dealing with a serious or chronic illness or
condition including patients, caregivers, family, friends, medical
professionals, and support organizations.
We do this by sharing our unique
perspective in order to:
-
bring a new sense of empowerment to
patients and caregivers
-
bring a new level of understanding and
renewed sense of purpose to their entire support system of medical
professionals, friends, family, and support organizations.
-
Oh... and by laughing, too!
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The Patient/Partner
Project
P.O. Box 824 - Twin Peaks, CA - 92391
800-366-2347 or 909-337-3928
The Patient/Partner Project is a service of A Few Good People, Inc.
(c) 2009 A Few Good
People, Inc. ALL RIGHTS RESERVED |
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