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A monthly newsletter for
cancer patients and those that support them, including |
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Announcement: See my article in the May/June issue of Coping with Cancer Magazine, page 14! Article: "Choose Your Battles" We Were Featured in The Wall Street Journal!
Cancer humor from the trenches
This and that
Meanwhile, back at the ranch... About the Caring and Coping Newsletter Please forward us to everyone you know who is a patient, caregiver, survivor, or medical professional. (Be sure they know it's from you, though; I don't want them to think I spammed 'em!) Patients/caregivers: please tell your doctors, nurses, family, and friends about us! Medical professionals: please tell your patients and colleagues about us! |
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Article: "Choose Your Battles" One of the most important things that we have gained from our cancer experience is appreciation of what is really important in our lives and what is just fluff. Guess what? In the grand scheme of things, most of what we "cared about" is just fluff. Why is this important to recognize? Because we have less energy that we are used to having and we need to be extra careful how we use it. When we wake up in the morning we only have so much energy to get us through the day; think of it as energy "currency." Each time you use some of that energy, "Ka-Ching!" it is spent, gone, never to be recovered. How many Ka-ching's can you afford? Patients and caregivers alike are obviously under tremendous stress and have more to worry about and more to do than ever, so why waste any of that precious energy on fluff when there are so many truly important things to do? A few weeks after my wife, Chris, was diagnosed with breast cancer, I was at the market walking back to my car when I passed a young couple that was arguing. They were going at it hot and heavy and I couldn't help but overhear the gist of it, which was that he had put HIS favorite brand of cereal in the cart but not hers. Ka-ching! Good heavens... if that's so important that you have to have a screaming match about it, let me gently suggest "GET A LIFE!" It occurred to me that if one of them got a cancer diagnosis that issue would undoubtedly become "just fluff." Why waste physical and emotional energy on it? You're going to need that same energy later. Another example of wasted energy is road rage. Geez, c'mon people... chill out! When you're driving, if someone does something stupid... let me re-phrase that... WHEN someone does something stupid, you're tendency may be to wave at them with only one finger, get angry, or worse, get even. Ka-ching! Ignore it and save some of that currency to spend where it counts. Besides, you could get shot; literally. As in "gun" and "bullets." How can it possibly be worth it? True story. Several years ago I was driving early on a Sunday morning (in order to protect the innocent I won't mention where this happened, but it was an island on the east coast that's really long) and a guy in a van cut me off. My reaction was automatic and instantaneous, causing my right hand to, uh, "spasm" and form a certain gesture. Unfortunately, he saw it and immediately swerved back into my lane behind me, following so closely I couldn't see his headlights. I couldn't even see the grill of the van. I thought he was going to ram me. It wasn't too long until he had had enough, or found something better to do with his time and turned off onto another street, but I was scared out of my mind. Ka-ching! Ka-ching! Ka-ching! You have to be on guard for energy "con-artists;" those things that might make you mad or cause a fight or other unpleasantness which, in reality, j u s t d o n ' t m a t t e r. That's why I say, "choose your battles;" spend your energy on things that matter. Notice the word "choose" in "choose your battles." Here is a revelation: how you respond to various situations is a choice. That's right... you can choose. You can choose to ignore it or you can choose to expend some of that precious energy. What choices will you make? For the fluff, which is most situations, try to remember these three words: "Let it go." |
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Cancer humor from
the trenches ...from audiences, readers, and me! More chemo shenanigans - in an effort to make chemo as un-scary as possible, one woman told me that she use to wear silly things to her infusions. Here are two examples (imagine wearing these while sitting at an infusion pump):: "Groucho" nose/glasses Vulcan ears (as in Star Trek) |
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I hear amazing stories all the time. As I was writing this months' article, I received a phone call from a woman who was reading my book, Cancer for Two. She said, "I'm halfway through it and it's just perfect for first-time cancer patients!" "Oh, I'm so glad you're finding it helpful," I said. "This isn't my first time, it's my 3rd. I'm a six-year lung cancer survivor, and now I'm dealing with skin cancer." This woman shocked me again when she told me she was 83 - she had the vocal strength and energy of someone much younger! |
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Meanwhile, back at the
ranch... Last October we were evacuated from our home due to a forest fire. It was very close by and the smoke was billowing directly overhead. Our neighbor Dennis, who has been a fireman for 25 years, said that the fire follows the smoke, which makes sense when you think about it because the smoke indicates the direction of the wind, and the wind determines the direction that the fire moves. The wind also carries with it embers; pieces of flaming material which start new fires when they land. Our neighbor said that some of them can be chunks of wood the size of milk cartons. YIKES! No wonder these fires spread so quickly. If one of those babies lands on your roof it's pretty much the end of the story. Even smaller embers, landing in just the right spot, can start a home on fire. Our home was not damaged, but the fire got to within 100 yards; we walk by burned forest when we walk the dogs. A few weeks ago, Chris was working in her garden which is about 30 feet from the house and discovered several pieces of burned wood. Embers. 30 feet from the house. Gulp. |
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Our mission is to reduce stress and restore hope for cancer patients and their families. We do this by sharing our unique perspective in order to:
Caring and Coping is a no-cost component of
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Patient/Partner Project.
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