I was reminded of this recently while returning home from a speaking engagement in Sioux City, Iowa.  We had just landed in Chicago and were taxiing to the terminal when the pilot announced that we were about to pass a plane being washed down on the tarmac by fire trucks.  He didn’t want us to be alarmed, so he explained that this was a ritual performed when a pilot retired and was approaching the terminal at the end of his final flight.

Sure enough, as we passed the streams of water were raining down on the plane from fire hoses and I was impressed by how wonderful that must have felt for the pilot, being recognized for reaching this major milestone in his life.

It occurred to me that the same was true for my wife when we celebrated some of her cancer milestones.  For example, when she finished her final chemo treatment I produced some flowers that I had secretly purchased during the treatment itself.  Then, when the IV was disconnected for the final time, she got a quiet round of applause.

When Chris was undergoing her final radiation treatment I felt we should recognize her for enduring the 30 treatments that had been spread over six weeks.  Each treatment was in two phases and the radiation techs would leave the room during each phase, which gave me a chance to coordinate my plan with them.  Then I recruited several people from the waiting room with whom we had become friendly during the weeks of treatment.

Following the final phase of the final treatment, we all went into the room and, while Chris was getting off of the table, we applauded her and cheered loudly.  It was a small room so it seemed like a lot more than seven people, and was quite an ovation.

As tired and uncomfortable as she was, I know she appreciated it and it made all of us feel good.  It was quite a high, and a stress-buster as well.

Just because treatment is ongoing and seems like it will last forever, there will always be victories to celebrate along the way; some will be big, some will be small, and they are all worth recognizing.  It feels great for everyone involved and helps generate the feeling that you are, in fact, making progress even though it seems like treatments are going to last forever.

Whether it is a lavish meal in a fine restaurant or a group of people who simply get together to offer their congratulations, it is worth the effort and gives the patient (and caregiver, too) a wonderful feeling of accomplishment.

We have a decorative black glass vase in the bathroom. It contains black glass marbles to weigh it down, and is then filled to the top with matchbooks that we somehow accumulated even though we don't smoke.

One afternoon we discovered it on it's side with some of the matchbooks strewn about, so we knew that something was up; we figured that our animals were playing and knocked it over.  A little while later, though, one of the dogs was just sitting there, staring at the vase.

Something was in it. Something alive.

Lily, one of our cats, has a tendency to bring small critters into the house, so it could have been a mouse or a lizard. By this time it was dark and I carried the vase outside to empty it, putting a towel over the open top so that whatever creature was in there wouldn't jump out and startle me.

Outside, I poured everything out; matches, black glass marbles... but nothing came skittering out like I thought it would. Oh, well... false alarm.

When I turned the vase right-side up again, the porch light reflected into the vase for a second and I took a closer look. There, shaking with fright, was a chipmunk! He had managed to stay in there as I shook out the contents of the vase; I can only imagine him hanging on for dear life! Poor little guy - I put the vase in the garden for the night, knowing that he would be back home by morning.

He'll have quite a story to tell his family!

Our mission is to reduce stress and restore hope for cancer patients and their families. 

We do this by sharing our unique perspective in order to:

• bring a new sense of empowerment to patients and caregivers

• bring a new level of understanding and renewed sense of purpose to their entire support system of medical professionals, friends, family, and support organizations.

• Oh... and by laughing, too! 

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The Patient/Partner Project
P.O. Box 824 - Twin Peaks, CA - 92391
800-366-2347 or 909-337-3928
The Patient/Partner Project is a service of A Few Good People, Inc.