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A monthly newsletter for
cancer patients and those that support them, including |
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In this issue: Article: "Your Life, Your Choice" We Were Featured in The Wall Street Journal!
Cancer humor from the trenches
This and that
Meanwhile, back at the ranch... About the Caring and Coping Newsletter Please forward us to everyone you know who is a patient, caregiver, survivor, or medical professional. (Be sure they know it's from you, though; I don't want them to think I spammed 'em!) Patients/caregivers: please tell your doctors, nurses, family, and friends about us! Medical professionals: please tell your patients and colleagues about us! |
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Article: "Your Life, Your Choice" Just last month I flew to Dallas, connecting with a flight to Ohio. On the first leg of the trip I sat next to a surly and haggard-looking woman; as I got settled in my seat I thought to myself, “How soon can I put on my headphones so I don’t have to listen to her problems? I KNOW it’s coming.” Sure enough, the thought was barely out of my head when she started in: “I hate Texas." Ugh. I had to be polite, so I asked why. She answered me sounding like a whining five-year-old. “There’s nothing to do there, it’s too hot, there’s no ocean, no mountains, no family - all that stuff is back home in California. I HATE Texas, but I have to come here 5 or 6 times a year.” The plane was now backing out of the gate; mentally I was calculating how much longer until the headphones can come out. “If you hate it so much, why do you come here 5 or 6 times a year?” I asked, trying to sound interested. “My husband lives here.” (I thought to myself, “I don’t blame him!”) “He’s stationed here and I have to come even though I hate it.” I felt sorry for her, but still found the whole thing amusing. This woman was making herself miserable, wallowing in all of the negatives. I said, “But you get to see your husband!” She said, “It isn’t worth it.” (Isn’t that just charming??) I told her in the cheeriest tone I could muster under the circumstances, “I’m going to Ohio, and when I get there I have to drive over an hour in the dark in 14-degree weather and blowing snow.” (All true.) “What an adventure; I can’t wait!” And then it hit me: your life experience is what you decide it will be. She made the decision, consciously or not, to focus on the negatives of her situation and to be miserable. I decided to turn the negatives of my situation into an adventure and was excited about it! You’ve probably heard it before: it’s all about your attitude. Your attitude determines your life. Sure there are things that happen to you that, quite frankly, suck. Like cancer, for example, or some other serious illness. Are you going to wallow in it and make yourself sicker? Or are you going to go with it and try to focus on something positive? It’s your choice. In last month’s article “The Power of Your Own Words” I talked about how you hear the things that you say out loud and take them to heart. This is a great example of that – if the woman on the plane had decided to focus on something positive she not only would have been happier, but probably prettier as well. Attractive people can actually become physically repulsive if they are full of negativity. The reverse is true as well. How do you want to live? My wife and I like to laugh. She got cancer and it certainly wasn’t funny, but we looked for and found things to laugh about. It was our choice. We could have just as easily focused on how scary everything was and how expensive and how stressful and… etc. But our lives would have been miserable and, to be blunt, she would probably be dead by now. Even though you may be faced with monumental challenges, choose to find the positives in your situation. Easy to say, very hard to do; but most worthwhile things in life are hard to do. And they ARE worth it. NOTE: see the "Humor from the Trenches" article below for a great example! |
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Cancer humor from
the trenches ...from audiences, readers, and me! This from reader Sterlynette McIntyre: I saw my oncologist today for the results of a CT scan done last week. After they weighed me I saw the doctor, who told me that he was pleased to see that I had gained 8 pounds as I had lost too much weight. He also informed me that my tumor had grown another centimeter. That news could have devastated someone else, but I saw past it and gave him the go-ahead to restart chemo. When I left his office and headed to the chemo center, I gleefully announced to each person I encountered (patient, visitor and staff) that I had gained 8 pounds! I was so happy about the weight gain that nothing could put a damper on it - not even a small thing like more chemo cycles. The chemo is designed to save my life, so why complain? |
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Following a recent program in Birmingham for oncology nurses, I was talking to one of the nurses. I told her that I thought oncology nurses were amazing (I truly do), and what a tremendous difference that they made and continue to make for Chris and me. She said, "We are a special breed, that's for sure. You have to have that certain something; it's a calling." Hmmmm... "It's a calling..." I had never thought of it that way. I think she was right on the mark. |
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Meanwhile, back at the
ranch... "There's a bear climbing over the fence!" I screamed, running for the video camera. Chris met me on the deck and we watched as the bear calmly walked around the horse corrals, then into the barn! Needless to say, the horses weren't too happy about this and they watched intently as the bear sat on the floor and annihilated, then completely consumed a tin of dog biscuits. About that time, the phone started ringing; it was on the wall about a two feet from the bear. He looked at it like he was going to answer it! The bear started exploring outside the barn, but didn't like the horses staring at him so, very deliberately, he quickly turned toward them and slapped the ground with his paw. He didn't run toward them, but was clearly warning them that he could if he wanted to. The horses bolted! After that, he slowly walked to the fence, climbed over it, and disappeared into the forest. The entire episode only lasted about 10 minutes, but it was quite a thrill! |
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Our mission is to reduce stress and restore hope for cancer patients and their families. We do this by sharing our unique perspective in order to:
Caring and Coping is a no-cost component of
The
Patient/Partner Project.
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Why am I getting this newsletter?
The Patient/Partner Project (c) 2008 A Few Good People, Inc. ALL RIGHTS RESERVED |
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