This may come as a surprise, but there is someone who listens carefully to every word you say, even when you are speaking in an empty room!  They take your words to heart, internalize them, and make them their own.  They take your words so seriously, in fact, that they make them true even if they are false.

Who do you think it is?  It’s your subconscious, of course!  And, whether you realize it or not, your subconscious affects your attitude.

There are four important aspects of this concept: the words you say, the way you say them, exaggeration, and the future.

The words you say

Have you ever noticed how sad words make you sadder and happy words make you happier?  And the more you complain about how much something bothers you, the more it actually does bother you.

The way you say them

It’s not just the actual words you say, but it’s the way you say them as well. If you whine and talk in long, drawn-out tones that emphasize how horrible something is, guess what?  You are going to feel even worse about it.

Exaggeration

The biggest enemy of all, though, is exaggeration.  Any exaggeration, even if it’s for dramatic effect, amplifies the meaning of what you’re saying which amplifies the effect it has on you as well as the listener.  Don't use words that make things sound worse than they really are: all, every, never, forever, everything, always, nothing - whatever problems you have will become worse by using severe language and exaggerated terms.

Say this sentence: “I am soooooooo tired, every bone in my body aches and I can barely keep my eyes open.  I just want to get in bed and stay there for a week… ooohhhhhh, I’m just soooooooo tired.”  I don’t know about you, but I felt my shoulders droop just typing that sentence!

Now try this instead: “I’m pretty tired but it isn’t all that bad.  I think I’ll relax tonight and I’ll feel better in the morning.”  Doesn’t that feel better?

The future

When you describe your illness or condition, it’s easy to make dire predictions about the  outcome, such as “This stress is going to kill me.”  Putting that picture in your mind will begin the process of making it true.  Instead, fill your head with positive images, such as “This is stressful but things are going to get better soon.”

This is different from “Self-talk”

I’m not talking about “self-talk,” which is an important tool in and of itself.  “Self-talk” is when you give yourself a pep-talk, such as “I can do this.  It will be difficult but when it’s over I’ll be so proud of myself.”  The basic idea is the same: the words you say affect how you feel.  The difference is that, with self-talk, you are purposely trying to influence your attitude.  My point is that your words will have an influence on you whether you intend them to or not.

Why is the caregiver so important?

In my view, a patient's attitude is arguably one of the most important factors in their journey.  No one has more influence on that attitude on a daily basis than the caregiver.

That's why the caregiver is so important!

Our mission is to reduce stress and restore hope for cancer patients and their families. 

We do this by sharing our unique perspective in order to:

• bring a new sense of empowerment to patients and caregivers

• bring a new level of understanding to their entire support system of medical professionals, friends, family, and support organizations.

• Oh... and by laughing, too! 

• you requested it (at our website or at one of Dave's speaking engagements)
• you have a business or other relationship with Dave or The Patient/Partner Project
• I asked you and you said "Yes"
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The Patient/Partner Project
P.O. Box 824 - Twin Peaks, CA - 92391
800-366-2347 or 909-337-3928
The Patient/Partner Project is a service of A Few Good People, Inc.