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Less stress. More hope. That's what we're about. |
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A monthly newsletter for
cancer patients and those that support them, including |
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Happy Holidays!! In this issue: Article: "Reduce Your Stress with Magic Buttons"
Cancer humor from the trenches
This and that
Meanwhile, back at the ranch... About the Caring and Coping Newsletter Please forward us to everyone you know who is a patient, caregiver, survivor, or medical professional. (Be sure they know it's from you, though; I don't want them to think I spammed 'em!) Patients/caregivers: please tell your doctors, nurses, family, and friends about us! Medical professionals: please tell your patients and colleagues about us! |
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Article: Reduce Your Stress with Magic Buttons It was dinner time and lots of things were bothering me. My wife was in bed recovering from surgery for breast cancer, the surgeon said that he could not get the entire tumor which meant more surgery and who-knows-what-else, my business was in bad shape and so were our finances, I had a house full of animals each of which needed to be walked, fed, or picked-up after, and I was tired and hungry. “Overwhelm” is a good start, but it doesn’t even begin to describe my state of mind. I did what I do every night before I start the evening chores: I turned on the TV to watch the news while I worked. As I fed the dogs and cats and made some soup for Chris, I felt my tension increasing and I started to feel panicky and a little, well, nuts. I stopped for a moment to try to figure out what was happening to me and heard the newscaster interviewing a missing woman’s family. The next story was about two people found dead in their car, followed by a story of a horrendous traffic accident, complete with video. Then it hit me: the news was making me even more anxious than I already was! TV news is usually pretty gruesome: murders, rapes, gangs, accidents, fires, wars, corrupt politicians, injustice, robberies… and that’s just before the first commercial! This is something that I think we all pretty much know, but I wonder how many of us realize the effect it has on us just to hear all of this negativity. Watching the news is pretty much a habit, and like many habits we don’t always recognize those that hurt us. But watching the news never bothered me before, not like this anyway; what’s going on here? Let’s think of stress as water in a saucepan, and we’re okay as long as the saucepan doesn’t overflow. More stress, more water. And, to further the analogy, let’s say that the news constitutes a cup of water. If we pour the cup of water into an empty saucepan there is no problem. But if the saucepan is already half-full that’s a different story. My saucepan was pretty full due to all of the uncertainty and overwhelm in my life. When I added that cup of water from the news it was beginning to spill over the top, and I was feeling it. Under normal circumstances, the saucepan was fairly empty and the stress from the news didn’t make a noticeable difference; it was there, I just didn’t notice it in the grand scheme of things. Back to my story. I noticed the remote control on the counter and it hit me: all I have to do is press one of those little buttons and, like magic, the news will be gone. What a concept! First I tried the “channel up” button, and saw two people being interviewed about the tornado that had just destroyed their home and everything they owned. Oops, not was I was looking for. I pressed the button again, and there was a comedian doing his standup act in front of a lively audience. Much better! Now instead of ADDING to my stress with sad, scary, or frustrating stories, the TV was REDUCING my stress with the sound of laughter. I felt much better and was enjoying the comedy as I worked. Then he started to bomb. The subject of his material changed to something that, frankly, I didn’t find very amusing. I felt myself tensing up, so… back to the magic buttons! I started “surfing” the channels: infomercial, televangelist, golf, soap opera, soccer, sports interviews, amazing insects… good heavens! Everything was annoying and/or uninteresting to me, so I found myself staring idly at the remote in my hands. I realized that there were some other interesting buttons on the remote. The red button turned the TV off completely. Gee, I had never thought of that! I like the company of the TV and usually had it on. I could turn the volume down, which would lessen the impact of the programming. Actually, this was quite effective in reducing my stress because the lower volume was much less stimulating, and over-stimulation was part of the problem. Here’s the point: you have control over a potential source of stress. If you are watching television, be aware of whether it is causing you stress and, if it is, change the channel or turn it off. Do you like to watch the news? I guess it is important to be aware of current events, but when you are dealing with a serious personal situation I think it’s more important to take care of yourself first. There isn’t much you can do about most of the problems you will hear about, so the best thing you can do is try to make your own little world the best it can be and let the rest of the world take care of itself for the time-being. The magic buttons on your remote control give you the power – use it! |
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Cancer humor from
the trenches
...from audiences, readers, and me! After a program in New Albany, IN a woman told me that all through her treatment she never hid the fact that she had lost her hair. One day she went to her son's high school football practice and sat in the stands with her bald head visible in all of its glory. One of her son's teammates saw her, then approached her son and said, "What's wrong with your mom?" In his jersey, helmet, and shoulder pads he replied, "Breast cancer. Chemotherapy. Deal with it." and walked away! |
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I thought this was pretty cool; when I was in Memphis to speak for a group of oncology nurses, I visited a clinic that has a large bell (think church bell) outside the chemo room. When a patient finishes their last treatment they ring it with great gusto in celebration. Not only does it give the patient a tremendous sense of accomplishment and closure, but it gives hope to everyone in the chemo room because they can hear it loud and clear! |
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Meanwhile, back at the
ranch... Lily walked in to the bathroom. "She has something in her mouth!" yelled Chris, not sure if it was dead or alive. It was alive. Do you have any idea how fast a chipmunk is?? Lightning fast! (My first thought was of the chipmunk Lily brought in once before that eluded us for 3 days. I finally caught it in a live-trap and took it back outside, but I could only imagine the "mess" he left behind in inaccessible places.) Like a bullet, the chipmunk bolted for the little toilet room.. Chris quickly closed the door so it couldn't get out and said, "Go in there and get it." I grabbed a towel to throw over the little guy and went in. He was behind the wastebasket; when I picked it up the chipmunk exploded into the air, trying to reach the top of the toilet tank. He didn't quite make it and, believe it or not, landed right in the wastebasket I was holding! I quickly placed the towel over the basket, pulled it tight, and ran outside to let him get back to his family. Total elapsed time: about 3 minutes. That's quite an improvement over the last time! |
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Our mission is to reduce stress and restore hope for cancer patients and their families. We do this by sharing our unique perspective in order to:
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